and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
