and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
