she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
