So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
