Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
