But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
