all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
