We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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