I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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