We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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