True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
