Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Someone signed my nipple.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
