i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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