so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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