ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
