I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
