I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
