$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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