i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
