Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
