I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
