I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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