onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
