i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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