Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
