2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
