no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
