'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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