Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
