Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
