I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
