So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
