That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
