somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
