Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
