She said her name was "party"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
