the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
