I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
