Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
