im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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