Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
