Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
