absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
