: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
