Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
