Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
