The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
