I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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