He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
