I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
