She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
